With my health issues I have encountered this past year, our medical bills have risen quite high. One of my prescriptions that is necessary for my kidneys costs $847 per month. That is for only one prescription! I take 12 different medications. I am also getting ready to start a new one called Benlysta and I have no clue what that one will cost.
|Photo taken in my back yard few years back. This is the smaller of the two trees that need to come down. |
Its not as pretty now as it was when we first moved here in 2004.
So my idea of 80+ acres secluded from most of the "world" will cease to exist. My quest for a cabin in the woods will have to wait until probably retirement (if we can even afford it then). Over the past few weeks I have been trying to go through boxes of my books, tools, all sorts of items I was waiting to use until we found our "dream house". Statues of the Gods and Goddesses that I own that were packed away for safe keeping. Totes and totes of books that were in storage because I simply don't currently have the shelf space for any of them.
|One of the items I was saving was my Triple Goddess Statue my husband gave to me for my birthday in 2011.|
|She's too freaking beautiful to be in a box. She will be going onto my new altar in my bedroom.|
The artist for this beautiful piece is Mickie Mueller and available at Sacred Source.com
So these next coming weeks, I will plow through my home, open every box I have put away for those "rainy days" and take inventory. Over the course of while these treasures have been in storage, I may have an immediate need for them (like quite a number of Coventry Creation Candles I purchased last year at ConVocation) and some items I purchased in Salem over a decade ago that are still in their original wrapping that I no longer have any need.
The books will be sorted into the ones I know I want for my library, ones I want to read prior to their departure and ones I know I no longer need. Many of these items will either be sold at the upcoming SBS "Barter, Trade, & Sell" after the Mabon Ritual. Some will be given to friends I know want them, and the rest will be donated to the Tempest Smith Foundation for their raffle for the 2013 ConVocation.
Thanks to the help of my Coven sister Katherine, she has already helped me in the process of sorting through some of my goods.
Why am I doing all this? It is apparent that we will not be moving into our "dream house" anytime soon.
As I look around my surroundings, yes my home may be small to some, but it is indeed my home. I live in a neighborhood that is very close to the one I grew up in (however the neighborhood I grew up in was predominately family). I trust my neighbors around me with my life and that of my children. There have been many occasions where I have needed the immediate help of a neighbor and they gladly gave it. Should I need to wake them in the middle of the night, I know they are willing to help my family should I need to be rushed to the emergency room. It's already happened. There are four families around me that I know my children are safe with should I have to go to the hospital as well.
Should something happen to my car, I live in a community that I am within walking distance of my family doctor, dentist, grocery store, pharmacy, and general merchandise should I need their services. I could not get more "greener" living in an urban area by being able to walk to all my necessities.
I live in a good community. I am happy here. When we bough this place we thought it would be a transitional home for just a few years. However, now as I look at everything in our current situation I can see this being our "30 year home". Some things need to be changed like a few trees removed that might not make it through the next few years of winter for the safety of our home and our neighbors (they are really really really big trees).
I also want to start landscaping and planting roots literally and physically. I kept a few old plant catalogs to see what kinds of plants I want to plant next year. I want not only flowers, but herbs, vegetables, and possibly a couple of fruit trees should I be able to convince my husband. I would also like the addition of a privacy fence.
I don't know exactly how much land we own, its quite small. I don't think its even a 1/4 of an acre, but it is ours. But I do know I am happy here, yes I need to be a bit less of a pack rat, I save a lot of different things for special occasions or hold onto them because someone I love gave it to me (even though I might not like it at all). I can see I am in a different kind of Paradise. I just need to change a few things to turn it into my "Pagan Paradise".
My besom is hanging in my kitchen that my mentor Jackie made for me many years ago.
|My mini-altar on the kitchen window sill. You can see the second tree that needs to come down in this photo too. It only shows half of its trunk that is how freaking big it is.|
My favorite stained glass pent that my friend T.s. gave to me is above my kitchen window collecting the sunlight each and every morning as it rises. I just need to organize and make better use of my space. I feel a house clearing coming on as well as a new blessing for our permanent home. Time to make the switch from "temporary" to permanent. This is not only the house we live in, this is our home. Now to make it one (instead of looking like someone just moved in with bare walls and more unpacked boxes than what is being used).
So the Quest for a Pagan Paradise is over....I've already found it. I just had not realized it until now! That is what I am thankful for this coming Mabon, having a good home, great family, and appreciating the things I do have in my life!
Happy Friday Everyone!