As most of those that know me, for the past 10 years I have had a serious battle (and losing that battle) of the bulge. I am tired. Sick and tired actually of how I look and more so on how I feel most of the time, which is pretty lousy. I never have any energy to do anything. I have become a couch potato. This weekend something happened to be during a conversation with my husband. He is clueless to how it has effected me and I do know that he meant no harm or disrespect. But what he said did strike a cord within me and my weight. He simply asked me why I wear sweat pants all the time and would like to see me wear something else again. I was a bit taken back. When he left the room as I was getting dressed for my son's birthday party, I did not realize that I have become the stereo typical frumpy sweat pant and stained t-shirt wearing mom. It was very hard to find anything in my closet that fit me and also looked good. Majority of the clothing was too tight.
Well NO MORE!
Everyday I will do something. No more sitting at the couch and watching tv all day.
For Yule, my hubby purchased us a new treadmill and its going to be used on a daily basis! At least 30 minutes per day. Also on the docket is to start using some of my old favorite videos/dvds for exercising. My favorite is Devotional Dance by T. Thorn Coyle. Last time I used this dvd on a regular basis alone, I lost over 20 pounds.
I have thought about posting my "before" photos for the world to see, but I just do not know if I am ready for the whole world to see my Venus of Wilendorf shaped body (even though she's a beautiful plus size beauty, my body however is not beautiful, its disporportioned and I no longer like buying clothes.)
I am in no way saying I want to be a skinny Mini...but I do however want to become healthier than I currently am. They say that your first goal should be 10% of your current body weight. Well that is very close to 30 pounds for me (so you can easily do the math to see how much I currently weigh).
Guess this blog will primary focus on me getting healthy, and how I plan it will effect my relationship to the Goddess. I know I am beautiful in her eyes as well as my husband's. But now its time for me to look at myself in the mirror and love the woman that I see in it.
I hope you come with me on this journey to help encourage me on my path as well as call me out on myself when I need it. I need a support system outside of my husband. He is good and somewhat supportive, but he is skinny and healthy for the most part, so he just does not understand my point of view as a woman wanting to lose weight.
I'm on this journey too. It's not always easy, but I find it's been easier to stick with if I think about making small changes that are permanent. Changes that will be a part of my life from now on, even when the weight is gone. You are a strong, gorgeous woman and taking care of yourself and your health is good!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. No need to feel bad about feeling bad about one's body, there is something that can be done (at least in most cases)... I've noticed how regular exercise helps much more with getting in (a different) shape than "dieting" (aka starving). Good luck, we'll cheer you onn!
ReplyDeleteGood luck Crystal! I know I am "skinny mini" but I have been going to the gym now a few days a week to get healthier and to work on upper body strength, conditioning etc. So even though I'm not doing the weight loss thing, I'm still doing the working out thing and will be here if you need me! BB Sister!
ReplyDeleteAmistis